1) The husband and wife will be able to protect themselves from all the temptations that surround them. At a young age, temptation levels are at their peak and it is generally very hard to control one’s desires. This should be one of the top reasons for getting married young. This is also the age when the sex drive of the males is at its peak, and women have their highest levels of confidence, so this would be the best time to enjoy one another the most.
2) The couple will be able to grow together through good and hard times, and be a support for one another throughout their lives.
3) Younger people can adapt easily to changing environments and it’s easier for them to break bad habits as compared to people who are older. This can help the two to persevere throughout their relationship as they grow older and can live together as a happy couple.
4) Getting married young brings about responsibility and maturity at a much younger age. Both the wife and husband become more mature and responsible and settle into their roles. Also younger couples develop a love for each other and are generally more helpful with the other’s chores and responsibilities they see each other as supporting roles in the relationship instead of concrete defined roles of a husband and wife.
5) Marrying young also has the benefit of having children early, making it easier for the couple to raise them since they themselves will be young and full of energy and will be able to relate to their children more. The couple’s parents can also enjoy playing with their grandchildren a lot longer as they will still be in their 40’s or 50’s.
The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, "Fear Allah in respect of women." And: "The best of you are they who behave best to their wives."
The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, "A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good."
The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, "The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is."
Once Mu'awiyah asked the Prophet (pbuh), "What are the rights that a wife has over her husband?" The Prophet replied, " Feed her when you take your food, give her clothes to wear when you wear clothes, refrain from giving her a slap on the face or abusing her, and do not separate from your wife, except within the house."
May Allah forgive me for any errors on my part, Ameen!
Money talks. Unfortunately, not enough people are willing to listen when it comes to matters of the heart. Statistics show that money is one of the leading causes of conflict and divorce. Even though the Islamic traditions don’t me...ntion much of these issues, we will outline some practical ways of avoiding monetary disputes in the household below:
Proceed with Caution (Signs of danger ahead): These situations should serve as a warning for you to try and fix the situation before it worsens: *Your discussions about money usually turn into yelling matches and no sensible decisions are reached. You and your wife compete with each other to see who brings home the biggest salary. There is a reason, the Quran has given the charge of the house-hold to the husband, and this would definitely result in some problems. You view spending money on non-basic items as wasteful but your partner doesn’t. No matter how carefully you two manage the money, things don’t seem to be getting better. Below are a few ways that you can use to avoid money problems: Do Not Keep Financial Secrets. Just like you don’t want him keeping any secrets from you, give him the courtesy to not keep financial secrets from him. Discuss Money Before You Get Married. Use your pre- and during-engagement conversations (supervised of course) to discuss financial matters so that you can be on the same page when the marriage happens. *Never Use Money As A Weapon. This is especially true for the husbands, don’t make money a weapon to threaten your wife with or to make her count the blessings that you have bestowed upon her. This will only instill hostility and cannot possibly be good for your marriage. In the end we should remember that wealth, while one of the greatest blessings that mankind has been given, is at the same time one of the greatest trials and temptations. Allah states in the Quran: “Your wealth and your children are only a trial (fitnah). And Allah – With Him is a great reward (Paradise).” [Surah al-Taghabun, 15] and also: “And know that your possessions and your children are but a trial (fitnah) and that surely with Allah is a mighty reward.” [Surah al-Anfal, 28] Just try not to fail this test in this life and hereafter. Don’t lose your marriage to it, and don’t ruin your akhirah because of it.
7.1 WEDDINGS ARE PART OF THE PROPHET’S TRADITION If invited to a marriage ceremony or wedding celebration, you should accept the invitation unless it may include prohibited acts. Attending a wedding is part of the Sunnah, as Islam regards marriage as an act of worship and obedience to Allah. Islam endorses performing marriage contracts in the mosque. Muslim jurists stipulated that this is based on a Hadith reported by Al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Maja: ‘Publicize the marriage, execute it at the mosques and celebrate it with drums.’ Another Hadith reported by Imam Ahmad and Al-Hakim and others supports the first Hadith: ‘Publicize Marriage.’ It also supported by a third Hadith reported by Ahmad, Al-Tirmidhi, Al-Nasa’i and Ibn Maja: ‘The difference between a legitimate (Halal) and an illegitimate (Haram) marriage is the presence of voices and drums.’
There is no dispute among Muslim scholars that in a wedding celebration, the Prophet (PBUH) allowed women to use drums. The most valid opinion among many scholars is that men can also use drums in order to publicize the marriage thus making it known near and far. The noble Islamic purpose of such publicity is to distinguish between an evil and illicit relationship and a pure and desirable marriage.
Attending a wedding is one of the rights of brotherhood among Muslims. It fulfills the requirement of publicity, reinforces the need to attest to the sanctity of the marriage, and it gives a chance to join your brethren as they complete the second half of Islam, and while you pray that they remain observant of the first half. Attending a wedding also honours the husband and wife by having their relatives and friends share in their happiness. It blesses them with guests that pray to Allah for their righteousness, success, affluence and prosperity.
7.2 THE MANNERS OF ATTENDING WEDDINGS If invited, attend the celebration as if you have answered an invitation to a blessed occasion, and a delightful and acclaimed celebration, as the Prophet proclaimed you should. Dress appropriately, for the Prophet’s companions used to dress properly at weddings. When initiating or sharing in discussions, make sure your conversation fits the happy occasion and does not include depressing and distasteful subject matter that could spoil the occasion. Muslims should be wise and considerate.
It is recommended that you congratulate the bride and bridegroom, by reciting the Hadith narrated by Abu Dawood and Al-Tirmidhi, and authenticated by Ibn Maja and Al-Hakim, whereby the Prophet (PBUH) said: ‘May Allah bless your side and bless your counterpart and may Allah tie your union with virtue.’ Do not use the commonly used phrase ‘With comfort and children,’ because this was the phrase used by the people of ignorance (Jahilia). The Prophet (PBUH) prohibited such a saying, and Allah, with His blessing, replaced it by the prayer of his Prophet (PBUH). Al-Bukhari reported that ‘Ayisha (RA) said: ‘When the Prophet (PBUH) married me, my mother led me into the house where women of Ansar were celebrating. They congratulated me with reward, blessing, and ‘best of luck’ wishes.
Islam permits women to celebrate a wedding by singing tasteful songs, accompanied by a drum beat. Such poems and songs should not promote lust, lewd desire, or portray physical beauty. Instead, they should sing delightful and decent songs to express their happiness with the marriage. Al-Bukhari reported that ‘Ayisha (RA) said: ‘A bride was led to her Ansar husband. The Prophet (PBUH) said: O Ayisha, did you not have merriment? The Ansar love fun.’ He was referring to the singing and beating of drums.
Al-Hafiz ibn Hajar reported in his book Fath Al-Bari that ‘Ayisha recalled that the Prophet (PBUH) asked ‘Why did you not send with her [the bride] a singer girl to sing with a drum beat? I said, ‘What?’ He answered:
We are visiting you, we are visiting you If you greet us, we’ll greet you. For your gold, bright and red, brought the bride to your farm And it is your wheat, brown and tanned, that made your virgins’ charm
Songs sung at weddings must be similar and have wholesome and seemly meanings. Songs of lust, passion and immorality should be avoided.
from the book ISLAMIC MANNERS By Shaykh Abdul-Fattaah Abu Ghuddah (RA)
The basic principle is that one of the conditions of marriage is the consent of both parties, because of the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) which says that the Prophet SAW said: “A virgin cannot be married until her consent has been sought and a previously-married woman cannot be married until she has been consulted.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what is her consent?” He said, “If she remains silent.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5136; Muslim, 1419)
Consent is essential in the case of the husband, and also in the case of the wife. The parents have no right to force their son or their daughter to marry someone they do not want.
But if the person whom the parents have chosen is righteous, then the child, whether male or female, should obey the parents in that, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter) to him.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1084; Ibn Maajah, 1967. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 865).
But if obeying them will lead to divorce later on, then the child does not have to obey them in that, because consent is the foundation of the marital relationship, and this consent must be in accordance with sharee’ah, which is approval of the one who is religiously committed and of good character.
Shaykh Dr. Khaalid al-Mushayqih
A child is not considered to be disobedient or sinful if he does not obey his parents in this regard.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
The parents do not have the right to force their child to marry someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses he is not being disobedient towards them, as is the case when he does not eat what he does not want. Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, 344.
“You have never seen anything better than marriage for those who love.” (Ibne Mãjah)
Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat dãmat barakãtuhum advises:
1. Every action is dependant upon intention. When marrying, both partners should therefore make a firm intention to accomplish the following objectives:
Following the Sunnah of our beloved Nabee Muhammad s.
Safeguarding oneself from sins.
Parenting pious children.
2. When marrying, each becomes the other’s lifetime companion. Each should understand and appreciate that Allah S has brought them both together and that their destiny in life has now become one. Whatever the circumstances: happiness or sorrow; health or sickness; wealth or poverty; comfort or hardship; trial or ease; all events are to be confronted together as a team with mutual affection and respect. No matter how wealthy, affluent, materially prosperous and “better-off” another couple may appear, one’s circumstances are to be happily accepted with qanã‘at (contentment upon the Choice of Allah S). The wife should happily accept her husband, his home and income as her lot and should always feel that her husband is her true beloved and best friend and well-wisher in all family decisions. The husband too should accept his wife as his partner-for-life and not cast a glance towards another.
3. Nowadays, the husband reads about, and is well-informed of his rights and demands them. Similarly, the wife reads of her rights and expects them. However, both should concentrate on being aware of each other’s rights and then strive to fulfil them. This is the prescription for a prosperous marriage and everlasting love.
4. During the first year of marriage, the couple must try and spend as much time as possible together. This is especially true for the first two months as it provides an opportunity to understand each other’s temperaments and establishes a firm foundation which contributes towards securing a prosperous marriage.
5. The couple (especially the husband) must make a point to arrive home early after ‘Ishã Salãh and scrupulously avoid the habit of socialising with friends late into the evening. Wherever possible, business, employment and other activities should be concluded beforehand or curtailed in order to set aside time for spending together.
6. Mutual respect between husband and wife should not be lost. They should each be very particular about following the Deen right from the initial stages of married life. This will also ensure a religious environment for the children to be nurtured in, contributing greatly towards their successful upbringing.
7. True and everlasting prosperity is only possible for Muslims when they follow the Sunnah of Rasoolullah s in all affairs. The couple too, should adhere to the teachings of Rasoolullah s in all their matters and abstain from anything which contradicts them. Careful attention should be given to this in their intimate relationship too. Inshã’allah this will be an assured approach to acquiring the blessing of pious offspring.
8. In the initial stages of marriage, the love between the couple is a physical bond, wherein emotional changes take place all the time. Despite great passion and physical love for each other, affection between the couple is not yet well established or on a rational basis. Such rational love comes after many years together. It is therefore extremely important for the husband not to succumb to emotional weaknesses at the onset and let the marriage waver towards an irreligious direction. Both the husband and wife should make a pledge to each other to steadfastly follow the Deen, especially in the performance of Salãh and in avoiding all sins.
9. Marriage is like the weather, forever changing. Sometimes it is cloudy and rainy, life appears gloomy, then the sun appears and rays of happiness break through bringing joy. At times, one experiences rain, wind and sunshine all in one day. Such is life, and like the seasons, we go through different experiences. The secret is to remain devoted and steadfast to one’s Deen and spouse.
10. The husband should be sympathetic to the fact that his wife has left her parents, brothers and sisters to start a new life with him. Her sacrifice and her feelings should be respected and joy should be felt by both partners at the expansion of their families. Just as the wife should treat her husband’s parents as her own, he should also extend affection, courtesy and respect to his new in-laws.
11. As soon as one experiences a problem, no matter how trivial, which remains unresolved for more than three days, consult a person who is both knowledgeable and your sincere well-wisher.
Based on the advices of Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat
Thanks be to Allah that we praise Him, pray to Him for help; ask Him for pardon; we believe in Him, We trust Him; and ask Him to guard us from the evil of our own souls and from the evil consequences of our own deeds. Whomsoever He leaves straying no one can guide him. I bear witness that there is no God save Allah, who has no partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and messenger, whom He has sent with truth as a bringer of good news and a warner.
Now, after Hamd-o-Salat, the best word is the book of Allah, and the best way is that of Muhammad, on whom be peace. The worst of all things are innovations and every innovation leads astray, and every thing that leads astray leads to Hell.
Whosoever obeys Allah and His messenger will be guided aright and whosoever disobeys will cause loss to his own self (and thereafter). Hereafter, I ask the refuge of Allah from Shaitan, the outcast.
O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them twain hath spread abroad a multitude of men and women. be careful of your duty towards Allah in whom you claim (your rights) of one another, and toward the wombs (that bear you). Lo, Allah hath been a watcher over you. [4:1]
O ye who believe! Observe your duty to Allah with right observance, and die not save as those who have surrendered (unto Him). [3:102]
O ye who believe! Guard your duty to Allah, and speak words straight to the point; He will adjust your works for you and will forgive you your sins. Whosoever obeyeth Allah and His messenger, he verily hath gained a signal victory. [33:70-71]
Six etiquettes of seeking a spouse
An Islamic Perspective
It is not uncommon to see or hear about potential candidates meeting in private, brothers and sisters “scoping the territory” for a spouse that looks good at Muslim events like conferences or lectures, or starting up a flirtatious conversation with someone they are interested in. None of these things fall within the guidelines of Islam.
Below are some Islamic principles, both general and specific, to consider if you will be be meeting or seeking a potential spouse for yourself or someone else at a conference, lecture, the mosque or another event:
1. Ask yourself: Why am I getting married.
‘Because all of my friends are' is not a legitimate reason. This is a good question to ask even if you are meeting the person to make a final decision because it will be a reminder about the real purpose of marriage from an Islamic perspective.
Marriage, from an Islamic perspective, is part of faith and it is part of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him).
As well, “my intention should be I am looking for someone with whom I will build a family,” says Imam Muhammad of Missouri. He has conducted pre-marriage counseling in the U.S. for the last 20 years.
“Marriage is a commitment and relationship that starts in this Dunya (world) and will continue Insha Allah in Paradise together,” he adds.
2. Ask yourself: what am I looking for in a spouse.
Abu Hurairah related that the Prophet Muhammad said: “Men choose women for four reasons: for their money, for their rank, for their beauty and for their religion, but marry one who is religious and you will succeed” (Bukhari, Muslim).
This of course, applies to women as well.
However, religion it seems, is not always foremost in the minds of many people. In fact, it's probably the last factor on too many Muslims' list.
According to one of the seven volunteers who runs the Islamic Society of North America's matrimonial service, being a doctor or a lawyer is much more important to many Muslim women than piety.
And the men are not any better. Many matrimonial advertisements for instance, demonstrate a key demand for a wife who is “fair, slim and beautiful”.
“If we want to have healthy Muslim families then Deen has to be first,” says the Director of Social Services for the Arizona Muslim Family Health and Social Services.
She is one of the co-developers of the program “Marriage the Islamic way”, which teaches various aspects of marriage such as how to find a spouse, the wedding and the post-wedding marriage relationship with your spouse.
3. If you're looking for a spouse lower your gaze.
This may seem like a contradiction, but it's not. Looking for a spouse who has the right qualities and whom you are physically attracted to does not mean throwing out the obligation to lower the gaze for both sexes and leering or ogling the person.
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is aware of what they do” (Quran 24:30).
“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms...” (Quran 24:31).
“Scoping the territory”, from this perspective, would not be Islamically acceptable.
Imam Nur Abdullah notes that looking at a potential mate is recommended according to the Hadith:
Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah: The Prophet said: “When one of you asked a woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so. ...” (Abu Dawud).
This means the two potential spouses can look at each other but not ogle or stare.
Abdullah also notes there is no limit on the number of times the two people can look at each other.
However, both should fear Allah and remember the purpose of this is to satisfy the need for physical attraction to the person you are marrying.
He also notes it is not permissible for a man to see a potential wife without Hijab, since he is not her Mahram (a relative with whom marriage is not possible, or legally her husband). Abdullah says seeing her face and hands are enough to determine attraction.
4. Get someone to help
Marriage is not something to throw yourself into all by yourself. Getting the help of someone, especially parents, relatives, an Imam, and/or respected and trustworthy members of the Muslim community to either look for the right spouse and initiate and participate in a communication process is very important.
In fact, even some non-Muslims have come to see this as a more viable way of meeting someone instead of getting involved in the disappointing dating game or picking someone up in a nightclub or bar.
Involving others, by the way, does not mean signing over your right to say yes or no to a marriage proposal. It simply increases the likelihood of finding out important information about a prospective partner in a way that maintains rules of Islamic modesty (i.e. not meeting alone, see next point).
Getting that third party involved also helps verify if the person you are interested in is decent, honest and respectful. This person(s) often checks out references, asks about the individual's character and behavior, and looks out for your best interest in general.
This person should be a trustworthy Muslim, since you are seeking a Muslim in marriage, and would want someone familiar with the Islamic way of doing things.
For those blessed with Muslim parents, remember that they are probably your best allies and helpers in seeking the right husband or wife. They have known you all of your life, and have your best interest at heart.
However, parents must be open and attentive to what their children are looking for, and never forget the element of choice. Ultimately, it is their son or daughter who is going to make the final decision. They must never become too pushy or aggressive, whether this pressure is being applied on their own son or daughter, or on the person s/he is interested in.
If parents, other family members, an Imam or members of the community are not available, you can also try seeking a husband or wife through the matrimonial services offered by a number of different Muslim organizations.
Always ask for references
This is also where your “third party” comes in handy. Not only will they be able to be your reference. They can also check out a prospective mate's references.
A reference can include an Imam who knows the brother who proposed to you, a sister who knows the woman you may want to marry well, a family friend, a boss, a co-worker, and/or business partner.
A note about honesty and references: the people you ask may know something not very nice about your prospective spouse. Remind them that if they reveal this information, they would not be backbiting from the Islamic perspective. In fact, in the case of seeking marriage, complete information should be given about an individual, both good and bad.
The advice of one of the companions of the Prophet, Umar Ibn al-Khattab can help in this regard:
A man came to Umar ibn al-Khattab and spoke in praise of another. Umar asked him: “Are you his nearest neighbor such that you know his goings and his comings?”
“No.”
“Have you been his companion on a journey so that you could see evidence of his good character?”
“No.”
“Have you had dealings with him involving dinars and dirhams [money] which would indicate the piety of the man?”
“No.”
“I think you saw him standing in the mosque muttering the Quran and moving his head up and down?”
“Yes.”
“Go, for you do not know him...”
And to the man in question, Umar said, “Go and bring me someone who knows you.”
(quoted from Islam The Natural Way by Abdul Wahid Hamid, p. 66)
This gives you three types of people you can ask about a prospective mate's character: a neighbor, business colleague or someone who has traveled with them.
5. When you meet, don't be alone
Umar related that Rasulullah said: “Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Shaytan makes a third” (Tirmidhi).
Also, Ibn Abbas related that Rasulullah said: “Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative within the prohibited degrees” (Bukhari, Muslim).
Meeting alone, in the hotel room of one or the other potential spouse for example, is forbidden.
The two cannot be in a situation where no one else can see or hear them.
Instead, a discreet, chaperoned meeting should be set up. The chaperone, while allowing the two to talk, is in the same room, for example.
As well, parents or guardians should set a time limit, recommends an American social worker. A whole day, for example, is too long for this kind of a meeting.
6. When you speak, be businesslike and to the point.
The purpose of meeting and talking to each other must also remain within Islamic guidelines. That means no flirtatious speech of a sexual nature on either side.
A contemporary Imam suggested that some of the topics discussed can include each other's interests, financial situation of the man, who is Islamically responsible for providing for his wife and children, and the two potential spouses' relationship with their parents.
He notes that conversations between potential mates cannot be talking just for the sake of talking. There should be a firm and clear intention of either pursuing engagement and marriage, or, if one of the two or both the man and woman feel they are not compatible, a quick end to the relationship.
This ensures both sides are safe from getting hurt more than they could in this kind of a situation and remain within the bounds of Islam, Insha Allah.
Other topics that should also be discussed at the early stages include level of Islamic knowledge and practice, future career and education plans, home making skills and where the couple will live right after marriage and in the future (state and/or country).
Seeking marriage is something highly recommended in Islam. While looking for a potential mate should be something Muslims help each other with, this cannot be done at the expense of Islamic rules pertaining to modesty and respect between the sexes.
“You cannot live alone. Do not live alone, as the wolf eats up the lone sheep, and Satan is close to the one who is alone and is farther from two who are together. So, if you live somewhere, live with at least one other person, and this one person should be righteous.
Friends are like a row of connected test tubes: if liquid overflows in one tube, the excess flows into the other tubes until there is an equal amount of liquid in all the tubes. Likewise, if you live with corrupt people, they will take away many of your good deeds, and you will decrease and decrease and decrease until you are all equal in status. You will definitely end up like these interconnected test tubes. A group of friends are all like each other, and the longer the friendship lasts, the closer the character and manners of each person in the group will be to the others. Do not believe that a good person can live for long with a corrupt person, unless the corrupt person improves and follows the example of the good person.
This is why you should look for the good people, and a friend is like a chain: he will either drag you into Paradise or drag you into Hell. He will either cause you problems or he will help you solve your problems…
After this, work on guarding your tongue, because most of the torture in Hell is because of the tongue: “And will people be dragged on their faces into Hell because of anything other than what their tongues have brought forth?”
After this, work on making good use of your time. Do not waste your time. Always try to bring about some benefit from your social gatherings. So, if you see people talking about food, drink, telling jokes, etc., tell them: ‘Guys, I read a story today to tell you about something that happened in Syria, or something that the Afghans did,’ or say: ‘What do you think about this hadith? I read the tafsir of this verse to tell you about,’ etc. Benefit them in this gathering, and occupy them with something that will benefit them. Sit down together and read the Qur’an, read the biographies of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) and the Companions, a simple explanation of the Qur’an such as ‘Tafsir al-Jalalayn’ - a simple, general explanation - and read a simple book of Fiqh, especially regarding how to pray. Read the entire section on how to pray, such as ‘Fiqh as-Sunnah.’ Read in detail how to make wudu’, because it doesn’t make sense to sit for thirty years not knowing the proper way of making wudu’, performing prayer, etc. - you pray while not knowing the fundamentals of the prayer and wudu’, and you do not know the details of optional fasting, etc. So, do all of this combined with good friends and a pure, truthful intention.
And stay away from women (and likewise, women should apply the same for men), as this is the source of all tribulation for those at your age, and in fact for those at any age. Stay from women who are forbidden for you. It is an obligation for you to stay away from them. Of course, all of the women in this land are forbidden for you. It is forbidden for you to look at them, it is forbidden for you to sit with them, it is forbidden for you to chat with them, and it is forbidden for you to be alone with them. The heart cannot bear these things because the glance is one of Iblis’s poisonous arrows. Whoever lowers his gaze from what Allah has forbidden will be given a sweetness by Allah that he will feel in his heart. But to look, to continue looking, and to allow this arrow to strike you in the heart - not just an arrow, but a poisonous arrow that poisons your heart - to let an arrow strike you day after day after day, this will make your heart weak and unable to face the problems of life. This is why you find a person who is drowning in desires to be weak-hearted…As for the heart of the believer, his heart is strong and he isn’t affected by anything. His heart is strenghtened by worship, and therefore does not become scared or shaky. As for the heart of the sinner, you see it shaking. Why? Because the arrows have killed him just like someone who has an ulcer in his stomach and cannot eat because of it.
Work for Allah and stick together, and the more you work for Allah, the more your souls will become strong and rise, and you will ascend rapidly upon the path of those who are ascending towards Allah. I advise you to recite the Qur’an everyday, because the Qur’an is like water for a plant. It is the life of the heart, and the water and life for the heart is the Qur’an…”
By Ibraahim ibn Saaleh al-Mahmud. Happiness is a feeling that resides in the heart. It is characterized by peace of mind, tranquility, a sense of well-being, and a relaxed disposition. It comes as a result of proper behavior, both inward and outward, and is inspired by strong faith. This is attested to by the Qur’ân and Sunnah. Allah says: Happy marriages are fundamental to a stable family and for personal well being. This book is specifically written for women so that inshallah they can have succesful marriages .
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There are in Islam, certain etiquettes upon anyone who marries and wishes to consummate his marriage with his wife. Most Muslims today, even those who exert themselves in Islamic worship, have either neglected or become totally ignorant of these Islamic etiquettes. Therefore, I decided to write this beneficial treatise clearly explaining these issues on the occasion of marriage of someone dear to me. I hope that it will be an aid to him and to other believing brothers in carrying out what the Chief of the Messengers has ordained on the authority of the Lord of the Worlds. I have followed that by pointing out certain issues important to every one who marries, and with which many wives in particular have been tested.
A man passed by Allah's Apostle and Allah s Apostle asked (his companions) "What do you say about this (man)?" They replied "If he asks for a lady's hand, he ought to be given her in marriage; and if he intercedes (for someone) his intercessor should be accepted; and if he speaks, he should be listened to." Allah's Apostle kept silent, and then a man from among the poor Muslims passed by, an Allah's Apostle asked (them) "What do you say about this man?" They replied, "If he asks for a lady's hand in marriage he does not deserve to be married, and he intercedes (for someone), his intercession should not be accepted; And if he speaks, he should not be listened to.' Allah's Apostle said, "This poor man is better than so many of the first as filling the earth.'
